Why am I going???

So our leader for this trip, Tim, asked us to write him a letter explaining why we were going, what our expectations are, what our fears are, and what our strengths and weaknesses are. As I was writing this, I thought this may be something that everyone should see. Although it is terribly personal, it explains my motives, the process that brought me to this awesome opportunity and it reveals many ways in which you can lift me up in prayer.

I am going to take a deep breath and post this- I trust that my open heart will be safe in your reading.

"I knew the moment we boarded the plane back to the US that I had left a big piece of my heart in South Africa. I have had this incredible and overwhelming desire to go back, but I wanted to be sure that I went back on God’s timing. I went to Romania the following summer, thinking that the hype of Africa might have just been the thrill of overseas missions. But things were very different. I loved the kids we ministered to and our team was great, but I couldn’t help thinking the whole time about “my babies” in Africa. I was constantly thinking about how it would be if I were there. I knew by the end of that trip that I had found my heart’s song- South Africa. I was discouraged that nothing came about the following summer, but I trusted that the Lord knew when I was supposed to go.
In October of this past year Africa was on my heart a lot. I prayed that God would open doors and guide me to where He wanted me. I sent out five messages to people and organizations, which had ties to Africa, to see what opportunities were available. A month went by and I heard nothing. I was confused. God had given me such a strong desire to follow His call for our life to GO but yet all I could see was darkness.
On Christmas Eve I was cleaning, but had a lot on my mind. I ended up on my knees crying out to God and asking for Him to either open a door or damper my strong desire. That night, I got a response. Tim Berger, the man who led my last trip, sent me an email telling me of an opportunity to return. I was astounded, and Satan came to attack and give way to doubt. Was I really supposed to go? How could I ever raise enough support? Would I be able to leave my babies again to come back to the states?
Shortly after the email a guest speaker, who was a missionary in Africa, spoke at my church about how single young women should be in the mission field. “OK God,” I thought. “I see your pointing and direction, but I’m still just not 100% sure.”
At a conference with the junior high students that I help lead, a few weeks later, their final call to the students was to go out and do big things for God even if you are young. Win people for the Lord. I knew then that even thought this message was aimed at the kids, but God had designed for me to hear “Megan, GO!!!” With my decision to go came lots of attacks from Satan about finances. A group from my church returned from India on a missions trip, and before I had left for church that morning I had asked God for confirmation, because even after all He to show His will to me, I still had doubts. One of the ladies had struggled too about finances and staying strong while in India. She referenced a passage from Matthew 5:3 about God blessing those who realize their need for Him and that the only thing to do is to trust God’s plans.
That being said, my motivation for going is simply to follow God’s very clear direction to go back to love on “my babies”. I am fearful aobut how I may react. I’ve seen it before, but sickness in children is hard to accept. I so desperately want to see some of the kids from three years ago, but especially Leeolo. I don’t even know if he is still at the clinic but I think about him everyday. I think about how different his life here in the states could be. The special needs services available to him in the states could change the outcome of his life. I’m fearful that he might have passed away and how that will effect me. I know that I am going to fall in love with these kids all over again, but my first little loves will always be there. I fear that my expectations and comparisons to the first trip may change how I look at the second trip. I was a very different person in South Africa in 2007 than what I normally am. I am normally loud, bubbly, crazy, and outgoing, yet on that trip I was quiet, reserved, and hardly spoke to anyone. I found myself distancing myself from the others. Although I grew so close to God and saw how much I rely on others for comfort, I wish I could have made some lasting friendships with the other girls on the team.
My expectations for myself on this trip is that I put fear and trust issues aside and just be real and be my fun God loving self. I expect God to move in me and through me doing what I do best- simply loving. I am a little fearful aobut how God will change me on this trip. I came back so changed from the last trip that I don’t know where God will move in me. I feel that my strengths are my ability to love quickly, especially with children. I have genuine love and work hard at just letting Christ radiate through that love. I am a hard worker which comes from growing up on a farm and being my dad’s right had woman. I like to do the job right- some may call it a little bit of “perfectionism” . I love to capture moments on film, so that on a hard day back in the states I can look at my babies and remember how blessed I am and how much I love them.
I do struggle with trusting others. I build walls and put on a happy face. I am working on remembering that even though I have been hurt in the past that doesn’t mean people now will hurt me purposefully- especially other Christians. I struggle with confidence- another trait I’m still working on. At times, Satan is really able to take my focus off of what it should all be about and place it elsewhere. I ams working with God on that one too. I am also very emotional and sensitive at times. This characteristic can be a good quality, but at times can also be a bad one. "

22 DAYS UNTIL WE LEAVE!!!!!! I have lots of clothes, but we are still collect them too. Hopefully I will be getting an email from Tim with more details in the next couple of days.

I'm so excited I think I'm going to go dance around my living room!!!

Thank you Lord for such awesome opportunities to serve you!!! :) PTL!!

30 DAYS!!!!!!!!!

WE LEAVE IN 30 DAYS!!!! I'M SOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!! :)

Thank you so much to those that have already responded and given me clothes!! I can't wait to bless their socks off at the AIDS clinics with clothes and of course the love of my Jesus...He is awesome!!

Please pray for me as I am getting a little stressed with all of life's current demands. I want my focus to be on Him and not on the crazy happenings of this world. I need my attentions to be on this trip.

Also pray for the heart's of those that we encounter everywhere. The airport. Resturants. But most importantly in the townships and clinics.


Ooooooo I'm so ready to go!!!





Here's another little girl at The Moses Preschool- She didn't smile but she is still such a beautiful child of God. I hope that I get to see her again, although she is probably much too old for preschool 3 years later....





This little girl broke my heart. She was so cold and distant at age 3 because of physical and sexual abuse. After the first day of meeting her I wanted so badly to remove her from her situation and just love on her. I'm sure we will have these type of encounters again. Pray that our hearts will be ready to love on these precious babies even though it is hard to imagine or understand why things are so hard for such precious angels.

Call for Help

Do you have clothes just sitting around that you never wear? Clothes that your children have outgrown? Well then I have a deal for you, because we would gladly like to take that pile of burden off your hands!!

We are hoping to collect gently used clothes to take with us to leave at the AIDS clinics.

If you are interested in donating clothes, please let me know and I will come gladly take the clothes off your hands!!!

I've made it!!!

PTL!!!! I have raised all of my support for SA!!! God is so good! I was most worried about the financial side of this trip, but God has provided me with an awesome family, church family and friends that care and love me so much!!!

PTL!!! I just want to jump up and down!!!

I am trying to update the blog more often and make some changes. :)

I'm going to attempt to put up a few pics of some of my kiddos from the last time so here is goes!!




This little girl sang Happy Birthday to me the last time that I was there. She was adorable!!







This is me with my baby Leeolo. I REALLY hope that I get to see him this time around. I loved him so much and wanted to bring him back with me. He has special needs but was full of the most beautiful smiles you have ever seen.




Here I am with the kids that were going to be using the Preschool we were working on while we were there last time. They loved our hair- they had never seen anything quite like it! They also tried to scratch our freckles off because they thought they were dirt!!!

Looking through pictures has made my heart skip a beat thinking that I will be with them soon!!! :) Thank you Lord for allowing me to return to my babies!!

Newest Update!

Thanks for all of the encouraging words from everyone!! I'm close to full support financially and hopefully I will meet my goal this next week. :) PTL

I'm getting really excited about this trip...I just need to get through to the end of the school year first, which is this Friday.

Prayer requests: I'm am completely stressed and definately feel under satan's attack. Also pray for team unity. I haven't met anyone yet except for Tim, the guy that lead us last time. I'm excited to meet the others, but I don't know when or how long before the trip this will occur. Pray that God can unite us in our love for Africa and our love for Him, so that we can do awesome things there.

Again thanks so much for all of the awesome support from family, friends, church family and coworkers!! :)

Feel free to comment and/ or ask questions. Hopefully once school is over I will be able to post some pics from my last trip or my link to the website they are stored on.

a little information change...

So God is still rocking my socks off, but the percentage on my last update is not correct, because on my account online, the total amount we need to raise is incorrect. So please continue prayers for the trip and for financial support. I'm still close, but not quite there!!

Details for round 2 to SA!

Hello all~
Just a quick update and details for everyone.

~ Official dates are July 6- July 27= exactly 3 weeks! Won't seem long enough!

~ I will be working with the same organization, Thembalitsha (http://www.thembalitsha.org.za/) while we are there. We are still working on set details of the projects, but we will be spending time at the AIDS Clinics for adults and children, will have some sort of building projects and will probably hand out care packages along with prayers and of course of lots of loving with Jesus as the reason.

~ Spreadtruth is our organization here in the states. They are so great!!!! I have raised 90% of my needed financial support- PTL!!!! :) Thank you to all who have already supported me!!!

~~ Most importantly, thank you for the prayers! I have definately felt them lately! Satan saw the good that was coming from me following God's will for this trip and quickly started the assault.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me!!! :)

Breaking my heart for what breaks His,
Megan